Disclaimer
Assalamualaikum,May Peace Be Upon You June 2007 I blogged when I'am bored |
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Wrong Direction
Lets start of with yesterday as in last Sunday.I went to sentosa with my fellow mates. From morning until sunset we enjoyed as much as possible there. swim, suntanned & football on the beach. Head & went home by car. this would went down as highlight of my 2009 life. all of us went home even darker except for nabeel. after that when I reached home ,I had a good 17 hours of sleep seriously. Well today I went to meet my future brother in law(mcm paham) Mr Farhan kambing. went to tampines mall to find his pants. then chilled at kampong with Zuhair & Tahir until 2am. I just can't believe that I'm turning to someone that people hate. I wanted to prove that I'm the new Fehrin as in a more mature,good attitude & more responsible. but then I turned to someone worst. like just now I realise that my close cousin Fairuz took away my everlast watch without my permission & took it home without my permission. yes its partially his fault. but then it doesn't give me the right to fuck him upside down. Out of frustration I did fuck him upside down after I realise that its gone & I told him to send it back today . & he did right after he came back from work which is 12 midnight. I felt wrong doing all those stuff. Its just a watch & I'm not burrying it along to my grave one day. I can feelthe frustration in him the way he packed the watch in the DHL packet which is 7 layers & put it outside my house. Really I felt crying after cooling down & he's like my own sibling. myself & other cousins including Fairuz grew up together so close & I bet he is dissapointed in me. He have to work until midnight & he sent the watch. ''if I were in his shoes yes I feel frustrated & you're my cousin how could you my cousin after what we been through do this to me,you could tell me nicely at least.'' Right now I really don't know how to come face to face with him & apologise. Even Mom told me to talk to him nicely & collect it on sunday because he's always busy working. but no I didn't listen. Mom obviously thinks that she raised a stingy devil. I bet she is dissapointed too. seriously I feel like there is a cold lump in my heart. Not only this incident, the ones with my mates & especially Elmizam. I got frustrated for little things. & I said things that I have no right to. why why why!!!! I want to change to someone good not a devil wearing a human mask. Allah please bring me to the correct path. I seek for your forgiveness for my sins. Friends,family & everyone I seek for your forgiveness too. I was maybe thinking of going after someone again for the last time & prove to her I'm the new & improve me. but then with my kind of attitude I don't deserve friends,family,someone special & even parents. I think I'll be better left alone. I deserve it. PS: I sincerely apologise to everyone. |
